Woohoo! Summer's here! Time to... watch all Futurama episodes and movies!XD

Who's this?? This couldn't be me.
I don't remember this at all, not a single pixel of it.

Hatlassssssst, me gots me SIM replaced. I have a new mobile number people! My old number. Teeeeee. That's 0917-eksekseks-2580. Repeat the middle digits fast. Now imagine an elephant-sized knucklehead humping a porcupine. The last four number's designed for the short-memory spanned scumwads of Planet Earth; it runs a vertical line right at the center of your phone keypad. (It's totally innovative, I know. It's the most fascinating mnemonic pattern-configured device anyone on earth has ever invented. I am a genius, you don't have to mention it. Us genii (plural declension for genius?:p) have such a morass of unnecessary knowledge (so much knowledge, so little time to apply them), the old ones get shoved out our skulls.)

Hurr. I'm scraping some tidbits of words of wisdom from my treasure box of do-nothingness.

01. The most important person (or supernatural being) in the whole wide dark-matter-filled universe is Nobody. No one can see Nobody, but He is always there. Ever since the beginning of time there was already Nobody. Even if us somebodies--otherwise called anobodyists--don't believe in Nobodyism, nobodyists proclaim He is the driving life force of the Big Bag. The first hand that triggered Everything out of this Nothing.

02. The most important thing in the world is Nothing. Everything in the world has no meaning that even at the microscopic level, much of the space in between electrons is empty. That wall right in front of you isn't really hard-rock solid; if you just smash yourself at it over and over you'll penetrate through the other side. Even if you'll feel your brain circuits rewired themselves and granted you dementia, it will all be worth it. You'll prove yourself this Nothing exists and once you realize this which dominoes into a train of thought that Nothing has any meaning, you're now free to invent your own world and become a master of your destiny. Huzzah!XP

03. Do not watch television. TV was created by people who have already invented another world out of Nothing, and it's all up to you sit your fat ass in front of it and swallow information. TV is filled with fake people with fake problems in fake situations so you can forget your own problems and your own situation. This also goes to those stupid commercials that trespass into your subconscious and create your dreams and desires for you. That shampoo sitting in your bathroom sink, you didn't decide to buy that. Though it sounds superficial, that television and those stupid ads were already creaking its propaganda machinery in your brain right when you were sashaying in those aisles at the grocery store. Tell me, how come you've never bought a shampoo you've never known or seen before?

04. Work is slavery. Do not start your day with an alarm clock, end it with television, and sprinkle work in between. Alarm clocks are evil. They are the mechanics behind your zombiefied nature. When you reach 50 or 60 and your face has resembled a bigger version of a raisin, all pruny and wrinkled wrapped like a crumpled brown paper around your brittle bones, the biggest mystery you'll even come up with is, where the freak did all those eight hours a day five days a week fifty-two weeks a year for forty years go? It just zoomed by in blackhole-spinning speed you don't know what just happened. Work equals toil and consumerism. You buy a ginormous house you can stay into except that you're always out to work and buy shit just to go home to junk your garbage in that ginormous house.

05. Owning Nothing means you have nothing to lose, therefore you are free to do anything. If your house (your rented apartment, with Nothing inside) burns down, you'll enjoy the blazing spectacle than feel unfortunate. Without a car you don't have to worry about scratches, bumps, dimples, insurance, oil prices, and car maintenance. You don't have to worry about driving and car crashes and running over stray cats. Buy your books, DVDs, and music albums in digital format. Or rather, pirate them. That way it's free. Now you have less clutter, more space, and you're tipping Mother Nature work from recycling your stupid garbage.

06. Boredom is everything. Boredom generates music, art, books, philosophy, friendship, and sex.XP Boredom should be the exponent of our civilization, not this capitalism and consumerism and wide illiteracy motherfucker. With boredom you can have more sleep and time to think creative thoughts (daydreaming). Remember when the gods were bored? They created human beings.

07. Do not create babies. The condom is the protection of the soul. Rather, adopt. The earth is already suffocating with people exhaling carbon dioxide which contributes to global warming and greenhouse effect. The only difference between an orphan and your own child is your DNA. Adopting a child is much more challenging and if everything screws up and your kid ends up in a nuthouse, you can say he wasn't really yours to begin with anyway. The very reason people make babies is that they are bored. Parenthood is the opium of the masses, and children are the most time-consuming entertainment that diverts your attention from thinking more important things, like the physics behind how a cookie crumbles or why does an octopus have three hearts.

08. "Bigger, better, faster, more!" should not be your philosophy. Your philosophy is to become a beggar. Didn't Jesus say to give away all your possessions and follow his butt? Didn't Buddha say the greatest suffering in the world is desire? Isn't earth already suffering from too much human-produced garbage, a byproduct of owning too much stuff? "Bigger, better, faster, more!" is an artificial happiness construct. Real happiness comes from an excellent orgasm. I mean really. No matter how beautiful the sunset is, or how delicate that new born baby's fingers are, or what a knock out your chick is, all everybody really wants is a good fuck buddy.

...

My bf and I are over.
This isn't the right time.
Whatever it is I did, I'm sorry.
I just want you to hate me really bad
So you can get the fuck out of my life.
My moods are a motherfucker
I don't even know what's happening.
You can't understand me
Because I don't want to be understood.
I hate myself so bad
I want everybody else to hate me.
I want to have a peace of mind,
however disgusting that sounds,
before I can really love anybody.
(Hayuuuuck.XP)
I am emotional.
I am sentimental.
But I am also apathetic
and indifferent.
Fuck you, people.
Will someone please mop the tears
out my eyes.

Word did you say?

« Existential BLAH. :: Garbage Dumping »