1. A triangle sandwich tastes better than a rectangular one.
2. I loathe egocentric senselessly garrulous women.
3. I'm egocentric and senseless but at least I keep my thoughts to myself.
4. She has an ego of a sex goddess and a body of a pig standing on its hind legs.
5. My life is so miserable I'd like to disappear and assume a stolen identity.
6. I'd like to die a superfluous death--death by floundering into a manhole and not being found.
7. Keep your fat face out my sight, your voice out my earshot.
8. I hate poetry, politics, and religion. And that She-Pig standing on its hind legs.
9. Once upon a time, I kissed a Dementor. And I lived miserably ever after.
10. What Bible?
11. My hair appears like it's been marinated in coffee.
12. Your parents are not the best in the world.
13. Suicide is the answer to existential depression.
14. Falling into a manhole is the answer to become a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
15. Neuroticism is the state of having an overactive brain with an utterly unresponsive body.
16. Keep your filthy nose out my blog, Pork Face.
17. The way to a sod's heart is through his anus.
18. Every lonely person wants a fuck buddy.
19. You look smarter than me but you'll always be dumber than you think you are.
20. I once met a man with erectile dysfunction. I lied that it didn't matter.
21. I am a product of books and violent cartoons smashed together.
22. The internet is the breathing ground and breeding ground of introverts.
23. Depressed existential atheists wistfully long for an alternate universe.
24. I am the fountainhead of superficial thoughts and bite-sized similarly superficial revelations.

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