Wordgasm is a portmanteau of words and orgasm, "word whoring" to put, an intellectual ejaculation of words and lexicons and sesquipedalians and googlewhacks and such, where cliches are strictly prohibited and stereotypes are burnt at stake. Nihil sub sole novum, the Ecclesiastes say; there is nothing new under the sun. It is only but the words that grant the world a whole new spectrum of perception. And the point is? I have no idea.
Call me Tobey. I'm twentyish, with a gender that involves a vagina. I live in Quezon City. And I go to the University of the Philippines, taking an academic course that requires a large vocabulary and stupendous amounts of imagination. How do you get that? You quaff a gallon of black coffee and gawk at your empty bank account. That would be enough inspiration. More »
 
11.05.08 - 23:07

Butiki and I are two sensation seeking dispomaniacs. Yesterday we swilled Grand Matador brandy pinched with betsin (monosodium glutamide) while playing five rounds of chess (I lost! The asshole! Godfuckingdamnit! I'm intellectually offended! Where's me shotgun?) and ended up crocked unconscious like drugged victims temptingly poised for rape. We planned to tether on the bedpost whoever of us gets zonked first, playing the game Pretend We're In A Brutally Sadomasochistic Rape Scene With The Violent Whips And Slashes, The Blood And Gore, Blindfold And Everything Imagination Has To Offer, but we both ended the drugged victims of a supposed nonconsensual fucking. Boooooooooo.

We made ourselves the guinea pigs of our Ajinomoto Rape Experiment, the brand translated as "the essence of taste" in Japanese. It's fermented sugar cane, salty and grainy, insoluble in alcohol, leaving white powdery residue at the bottom of the shot glass. Nakakasuka putangina.XP But what can we do, we're experience junkies. Hankering novelty and surprise, we'll try anything new just to stimulate our little braincells and gratify our senses, our curiosity. While I am sniffily curious and tactilely reflexive, Butiki is gustatorily inquisitive: I'm exhilarated at all sorts of smell from the fragrance of perfumes and aroma of coffee beans to the stench horse dung and pigsties; my hands crave the constant fondling of different kinds of surface textures due to my compulsive skepticism in determining something real or hallucinatory; whereas Butiki's taste buds has a sapidity for inedible concoctions such as soap, shampoo, lotion, candle, liquid detergent, floor wax, vaginal wash, ants, paint, katol, et cetera. Yes, he's tasted them all, and he's tasted me too.XD Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh. Bloody fuck I'm horny.

I heard this urban legend once, The Chinese Restaurant Syndrome, where there's this, of course, Chinese Restaurant which offers food slyly peppered with an addictive food additive that'd render habitual consumption to its puppet patrons. Ajinomoto, the food additive, that. Well I think that's STUPID. If I had a restaurant, I'd sprinkle ground marijuana leaves disguising as basil on all the dishes in the menu. That way the customers will feel the pleasurable effect of eating rather than cluelessly consuming frankenfood they don't even have the stomach for. Err. Either way, they're both stupid.XP Scratch that, I think my idea is rather brilliant.XP

The spectacularly chartreuse-eyed stray cat we randomly christened as Banana just gave birth to her kitties. Her deflated belly now sagged and hung to her ribcage like thin rabbit fur coat, her tiny perky nipples sticking out like needles. I fingered one of her nipples and it hardened like rice grain.o_0 Banana's been lounging at my veranda since a month ago, purring for leftovers and attempting to break into my flat to domiciliate and labor in my dressing cabinet. I am not a cat person; I prefer dogs (and men) than anything else. But I don't have the slightest inclination to adopt animals. Don't get me wrong, I adore animals, I just prefer them cooked.XP Have you tasted dog meat?? It's gustatorily sensational mouth-watering ambrosial I swear to god--granted you have the appetite for the exotic. But dogs aren't exotic, daggumnit, they're ubiquitous.XD People get pets because no one wants to talk to them--the people, not the pets, dumdum. Same goes with books--people read books because other people don't want to talk to them. To the pilosopong philosopher, people resort to diversions because nobody wants to talk to them. Fallacious, I knoooooooow. I am a speculatively theorizing smartass. :p

I got horrifyingly sloshed from tippling--what else--Grand Matador last weekend I didn't know who I was and what the fork happened and how I got home shoeless in my bed. It was as if I was suddenly ejected like a dinosaur-sized baby from a vagina equipped with rationality and morality and everything, screeching Lo and Behold! I am alive!XD But wait! Putangina! Sino ako??! I woke up consciously aware something's wrong with my eyesight--my left vision was clear when the right wasn't. I hauled my ass in front of a mirror and scrutinized my eyes and later found out that my right contact lens was missing. In fact it wasn't missing; it was stuck at the back of my fucking eyeball.XD It's still sitting there until now. Wahahahahaha.XD Holymotherfuckinggaaaaaaaaaaaad. I'm going to die one eye blind....... with a pirate's eyepatch!XD

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