Keolo, my nine-year-old nephew, farts like an elephant and has the appetite of an elephant. He's like a son to me. Hayuuuuuuuuck.XD And has acquired my penchant for Math, English, Science, Scrabble, Chess, Futurama, and being a smartass.XD That, and my hatred for Filipino, Sibika, and Christian Living. Recently he's been exhibiting an attitude he undoubtedly learned from--who else? Teeheehee.

Keolo: Daddy, does God exist?
Dad: Ye--
Keolo: WRONG!
Dad: But he created the--
Keolo: WRONG!
Dad: But he made you out of--
Keolo: WRONG!

Keolo: Mommy, why does the book say we're fashioned after the image and likeness of God? But I don't believe in this stuff! I believe in EVOLUTION!
Mom: ... (rethinking of transferring him to a non-catholic school)

Dad: Keolo, eat your dinner.
Keolo: NEVER!

Mom: Keolo, do your assignments.
Keolo: NEVER!

Dad: Keolo, stop playing computer games.
Keolo: NEVER!

Keolo: Dad, why does the Bible say God created the universe in six days?
Dad: (stumped) I don't know. I guess you just have to believe that.
Keolo: But the earth is billions of years old! So the universe must be older!

Keolo: What's your proof God exists?
Dad: Don't talk to me.

Keolo and me playing chess.
Keolo: Kaira (younger sister), get out of this room!
Kaira: NEVER!
Keolo: Kaira get out! Or else... or else I'll kill you!
Kaira runs out the room crying.

Me: You shouldn't move your pawns carelessly. A pawn's move cannot be undone. Once a pawn steps forward, it can never step back.
Keolo: (thinks long and hard) SO?

Keolo: Hi Tits!
Me: Don't call me Tits.
Keolo: Why?
Me: That's the slang term for boobs.
Keolo: (cheeks sucked in, eyes popping out)
Keolo: Then I'll just call you Tit.
Me: That's the slang for one boob.
Keolo: (cheeks sucked in, eyes popping out)
Keolo: Okay Tita, never mind!

Me: What do actors use to stage blood?
Keolo: What?
Me: Chocolate syrup!
Keolo: (laughs hard) SO?

Keolo: Tita, I love you.
Me: Yuck!

Keolo: Kaira, I love you.
Kaira: Aw, I love you too!
Keolo: Yuck!

Me: Eat your vegetables.
Keolo: NEVER!
Me: If you eat vegetables your brain will grow bigger and you'll be smart like me.
Keolo: I don't believe you.
Me: Why?
Keolo: Because you're a liar.

Keolo: Mommy, am I a Christian?
Mom: Yes. You were baptized when you were a baby.
Keolo: But WHHHYYYYY?
Mom: All babies in the Philippines are baptized as Christians.
Keolo: But you never asked me! I don't want to be a Christian!

If there's one thing I thought him, it's thinking independently.:D He arrived at his own atheistic (and freethought) ideas by listening to my Superman example.

Erm. So?

Word Up

Word did you say?

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