OMFG, I am in ♥. Medyo lang naman, medyo lang.XD Let's just call it infatuation. Hik.

I'm short of alcohol. This unutterable feeling, I can't explain it. But let me try: it's like nicotine addiction.

Haha, tangina laboh explanation.XD

I am retchy and my heart is thumping out my skull like a boombox.

The thing is, it's my first time to spend two days on a mountain without alcohol or cigarettes.

This thing I can't explain, I'm at loss of words. My thoughts are like boson particles dodging everywhere but you can't see them or find them or pin them down. You just know they're there because there cannot NOT be anything in there, like, you know?XD

Every time I puff smokes, bile shoots up my throat and reaches my front teeth but I can't spit it anywhere so I just swallow it back.XD

I've had five bottles of Red Horse at Sarah's already and still, they ain't enough, dawg, you know what am sayin'? Blahaaaaaar.XD And the sari-sari stores have yet to open at six before I buy more booooooooooze ooze.

Mt. Balagbag sucks kalabaw balls! It's a waste of time and sweat and physical exhaustion. Matter of fact, I wouldn't call it a mountain. It's like a ragged terrain that has just discovered Industrial Revolution. Roads have been cleared out and you'd have to hike up the top on a bloody unchallenging bypass. But then there's this river trek and five falls-climbing. It all sounds exciting but I didn't hike for the fucking water. I didn't hike to get fucking wet and later walk on fucking squelching shoes up a horribly unremarkable fucking "mountain" filled with nothing but blady fucking weeds that'll grant you papercuts all over.

Bundok daw siya. Daw.

But then again, that's just a Level 1 climb. Nothing interesting.

This cigarette and alcohol ban, it's implemented by UP Mountaineers, one of the most prestigious mountaineering organization in the country. Right. I've finally kicked my butt into the bandwagon. To associate myself with something bigger. A groupie. A collaboration of many mudcaked hands. To be part of a whole. To melt in, liquefy, and disappear inside it.

I've been asking myself: WHY?!?

No alcohol and cigarettes? I get psychotic and schizophrenic without them.

With nicotine-dotted lungs I have run 6.6 kilometers in forty-five minutes. A requirement for the first climb. Just that made my knees shaky and wiggly and brickly at near collapse.

Then I'd have to run ten kilometers next week.

Then fifteen kilometers.

The difficulty skyrockets to a chainsmoker's concept of impossibility.

I have to carry six liters of water plus one or two liters of trail water, with or without water source in the mountain.

I'd have to fucking COOK which I perfectly suck at. My most complicated recipe is boiling water.

I have to bring my bigass shitty tent at every hike.

All this bullshit rules and requirements, I don't know why I'm here.

Instead of burning up I burn out. Imagine putting in a gyrating osterizer on hold. It just whirs and whirs and whirs blending fruits and shit until the concoction's turned into mudshit then into shitty water. The little machine of squirrels running and panting inside wheels, they just burst into splattery squirrelflesh. That's where I'm getting at, here, joining this silly organization.

But it'll just take four months. If I don't pass, I wouldn't give a squirrelshit. But if I do, I want to grow and develop...... into a nice and fat venomous snake.XD Nay, after four months everything will be back to normal. Them rules and requirements will be lifted. And I can smoke and drink again.:D

There were twenty-three of us applicants last weekend. All of us including the members and group leaders were like forty or a hundred or something.o_0 I don't normally climb in packs this big. Just the presence of people I don't like (Pardon me but I'm picky when it comes to being with anybody.) makes me squeamish and hypersensitive and I just want to vomit every time. Hearing those sick and corny jokes and pickup lines, watching stupid people do and say stupid things, I just want to hack them all with a pirate's sword.

I am the serial killer in the film Se7en. If I get exposed to this kind of bullshit you wouldn't wonder why I'd descend the mountain alone and bathed in human blood. Then the locals will just stumble upon the carnage at the top.

So with such a crowd I'd rather hike all by myself with a bottle of brandy, thank you very much.

BUT! I still want to go through this shite and hope for the best. Thank goodness there's Mo, a literature freakgeek like myself.

And of course, there's my ♥.

Just these two are enough to balance the equation.

I need alcohol! Waaaaaaaah.

Pics.

Groupie. Jump off at Bulacan.

One of them falls.

Pwet.

Ho-hum.

"Kunwari may tinuturo tayo."

Applicants.

Heh. Isang barangay amf.

Sarah's. Sunog lahat! Wahahaha.

Announcement: Netizens, I am now a social fucking butterfly. Add me at FB. Ukk, FB, uuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkk. :vomit: My chess coach required me to open one for them effing chess class updates.

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