So I've seen the film Avatar (2009). It isn't science fiction. It's skiffy. I'd give the graphics and glitter and jazz an A+. But when the premise is just unswallowable, the whole cookie story just crumbles into brown powder and rainbow sprinkles.

Premise goes, a gang of greedy assholes wants to mine the mineral "unobtanium" from Pandora, some moon in the solar system of Alpha Centauri.

A few grams of "unobtanium" costs about $20M. There are quadrillion million jillion tons of this shit beneath Pandora's soil. And these greedy narrow-minded immature unethical morons want to get their itchy hands on them whatever it takes. It's no different from any other power-hungry colonizer in history.

Thing is, colonizers no longer exist. GREEDY + NARROW-MINDED + IMMATURE + UNETHICAL + MORONS just cannot exist in a group of highly evolved human beings with the conscience of those living in 2154. That is so eighteenth century. Besides that, they mined Pandora without considering the dangers of its environment. In short, they're also stupid.

Pandora is a fantastic utopia. And by fantastic, I mean the word that derives from fantasy. It's a virgin planet where every single thing has neurons and brain synapses and can therefore communicate to each other. It follows the beliefs of ancient religions--Paganism, Shamanism, Taoism, Zen, etc.--that everyone is in tune with nature, that everything is connected and is one. It's a network of living things coexisting with each other, one planet of an organism, a cosmic brain. It works like the immense superhighway of the internet. Its denizens can download memories and ideas from its soil where their ancestors were buried. Excellent place to live in. It's like living in the internet and watching porn forever without getting bored. It's just that everything's too perfect it's difficult to swallow. And the planet being pristine and perfect and heavenly and everything, it doesn't deserve any of this destruction. Pillaging Pandora is no different from raping your own pet hamster.

It's horribly predictable, besides. Get the word "unobtainium": you just know them gloating humans won't "obtain" them.

Long story short, judgment of the jury goes: Meh. I've seen better.

Mindtwist: You're a bitch.
Wordgasm: I'm not a bitch.
Mindtwist: You are a bitch.
Wordgasm: No no no no no.
Mindtwist: But you are.
Wordgasm: The word "bitch" is too derogatory.
Wordgasm: I am not a bitch. I'm just a...
Mindtwist: A what?
Wordgasm: I'm just an animal.
Wordgasm: In the scientific sense of the word.

I swallowed everything I said two entries back. Stormed away from Prince, my short-lived paramour, and begged and cried and wrapped myself around Mindtwist like an alien predatory leech to take me back.

Mindtwist: I've lost all my respect for you.
Wordgasm: So?
Wordgasm: Babuyin mo ako. Mangbabae ka ng iba. I'll always run after you.
Mindtwist: I'm done with you.
Wordgasm: But you're the only one I want.
Mindtwist: You can move on without me. Kaya mo yan.

The telenovela of my life. This is the schmaltziest I can get. My eyes were dripping with tears. My lips mopped his face and neck and shoulders. Please. I held onto him like a koala bear; he my bamboo. My life source. My food my water my shelter my home. Stupid analogy, fuck. My everything. Please, take me back. I am the lowest of the low. The most underdog of dogs. The stinkiest of dogshit horseshit dragonshit. I am your minion. Your slave. Your property. Subdue me.

Mindtwist: Tangina mo aaraw-arawin kita. Kelangan mo mabuntis putangina mo ka.

Hahaha.XD That killed me. So we're back together. Stupid drama of my stupid life. We're all a sucker for something. I'm a sucker for Mindtwist.

My only remaining fear in life is getting prego. I hate babies. I hate kids. I hate ovulating and getting pregnant and begetting a child. I don't want to be subject to this cyclic machinery of procreation. Work, marriage, kids, old age, death. The same unavoidable fate of everybody on this planet. Hard-coded in every human and every animal's DNA. I don't see any point to propagating my species.

My nine-year-old swine nephew imagines me with a baby and says, "Hindi talaga pwede Tita, hindi mo talaga bagay." Haha.XD

What's the point of everything?

I am a nihilist, an existentialist, an atheist. People call me a pessimist but I'm sick of defining myself. All these words are just words anyway. Without someone coining them, them words wouldn't exist just as any definition of myself wouldn't exist just as I wouldn't exist.

Mindtwist: Everything has a purpose.
Wordgasm: Nothing has any purpose.
Mindtwist: There is a reason for the existence of every single thing in this world.
Wordgasm: What is the purpose of life? By life I mean the collective life--past, present, and future--of all plants and animals and humans on this tiny blue dust mote planet.
Mindtwist: I dunno. Only God can answer that.
Wordgasm: What's the purpose of the existence of God? I mean really.

This was the same dilemma of Superman. Superman is, essentially, a god. He can turn time forward and back, fly to any place in the universe, do anything with his supernatural strength. With all this power, he searched for God in the space-time fabric of the entire cosmos. He was disappointed. He didn't find any.

Mindtwist: But everything has a purpose.
Wordgasm: Everything has no purpose.
Mindtwist: Okay, give me something that has no purpose.
Wordgasm: Well. Your nipples. Human male nipples.
Wordgasm: Tell me the point of your nipples and I will believe everything has a purpose.
Mindtwist: The point of male nipples is that... so a guy can have boobs should he decide to be a transexual.

The debate is flawed, of course. But methinks reason is doomed to exist in a universe that is entirely unreasonable. That human conscience is a random fluke of nature. That life, the universe, and everything have no reason for existence besides being just there, you know, materially.

Consequently, sex to me doesn't have a point in this nihilistic scheme of things besides pleasure. Why I am noncommittal and unconforming is because of this. There is no reason for life to persist. Well, of course, besides pleasure.XP

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Why does the Christmas holidays have to end so soon, WHYYY?? Just thinking about the unlimited fountainload of schoolwork makes me want to grab a bottle of brandy. Life is too short and too beautiful to spend it on school and work and responsibility and stupid chores and stupid people and stupid books and stupid movies and stupid everything.

Just one more fucking year. I just keep telling myself that. After that I will be completely independent.:D I will open my own self-operating money-generating business to support myself and my dependence to alcohol and write books year after year after year. I will change the course of Philippine literary history and trump Leo Tolstoy and Fyodor Dostoevsky and George Orwell and spit and piss and crap on their graves and tell them, "in your face you literary genius you", then I will die depressed and miserable and lonely and reeking with alcohol.XP

Word Up

Word did you say?

« Time To Not Give A Shit :: There Goes My Hero »