A package landed on my doorstep today. My four-year-old niece hauled it up my room and begged and knelt and cried if she could open it.

I said: No.

It's a green rectangular box housing what must be a giraffe's hind leg.

Please, please, please! Let me open it, Kaira said. She was jumping everywhere.

I said: No.

I ripped the duct tapes off and opened it.

A bunch of roses.

Jesuswhatthefuckohmyfuckinggod, get this out my sight.

Yuck! Somebody loves you Tita! Kaira said.

Holy flying shit.

I sniffed it. It smells like a funeral parlor.

I counted it. TEN. The base of the decimal system. And?

I studied it inside and out. Nothing bizarre. Nothing extraordinary.

But wait. A note. It really is a good match up, if I do say so myself. :D

Wutwutwut?

Jesus, how can you do this to me? You can't do this to me. You just can't.

I looked at the flowers again. Now what? What the fuck do I do with this shit?

Give me a diamond. Give me a golden ring. Give me a car and a house and lot and hectares and hectares of property. Give me anything I can sell and buy a librabry with.

Not... this.

Not this useless, pointless, most romantic house ornament which will just wilt and die and turn into papery garbage.

But you know what? I hate you. I really, really hate you. But you already know that.

A couple once passed me and some guy I was dating. The other couple, the girl was giggling over some colorful plant in her arms.

Guy I was with said: Gusto mo ng ganon?
Me: DUH. Tinatanong ba yan? Itatapon ko lang yan. Bigyan mo na lang ako ng libro.
Guy: O sige, libro na lang.
Me: Tangina, bulaklak? Ano naman gagawin ko sa bulaklak?
Guy: Ano bang libro gusto mo?
Me: Di baleng bigyan mo na lang ako ng magagamit ko, tulad ng medyas o kaya alak. Wag tong... bulaklak.
Guy: Diba matagal ka ng naghahanap ng Lolita? Sino na author nun?
Me: Nabokov. Pero siyempre sinasabi ko lang yun.
Guy: Na ano?
Me: Na ayoko ng bulaklak. Ayoko naman talaga ng bulaklak eh.
Guy: Woooo. Gusto mo eh.
Me: Pero... siyempre, itatapon ko lang yun.
Guy: Uyy, gusto niya ng bulaklak.
Me: Hindi kaya. Wala namang kwenta yun eh. Gastos lang sa space, sa pera, at nakakadistract sa paningin.
Guy: O sige, bibigyan kita ng bulaklak.
Me: Tangina mo! Ayoko nga ng bulaklak!

This dude never gave me what he promised.

So.XD

It's not that I haven't received this before.

It's just so.................. fucking SWEET.XD Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, I am still gushing.XD

Arr. I hate you. I want to slap you with these roses and bruise you with their thorns and ram them all down your throat and....! Tell you that was really sweet of you.XD

Wahahahahaha. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Gay!

Thanks a bunch, Prince of Origami.:D

Holyfuckingshiiiiiiiiiiit, I am a girl today.XD

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