1. Next to blood, the most valuable liquid in the world is urine.
2. Moonbathing for eight consecutive nights will grant you skin cancer.
3. A public toilet seat is 35 times cleaner than paper money.
4. Letting red wine dry on your face will get rid of all whiteheads and blackheads.
5. Ants don't sleep.
6. Closing one nostril, you'll find bitter food sweet.
7. 12 billion years ago, the sun used to be a twin of stars that collapsed into one.
8. Monkeys can lick their elbows.
9. More people die from falling trees than from car accidents.
10. Human tears can easily heal fresh wounds.
11. Michael Jackson has a tattoo of himself on his left shoulder blade.
12. An orgasm has the same neurological effect of taking heroin. The only difference is that sex is legal.
13. The word "god" has the most number of definitions in the dictionary without referring to anything provable.
14. Your fingertips formed the horizontal lines on your palm when you were inside your mother's womb.
15. Cats prefer to eat lizards than mice.
16. Your sphincter (asshole muscles) can stretch to as wide as a dinner plate.
17. Mating two donkeys together will produce a horse.
18. Watering apples with coffee makes them grow faster; watering them with beer makes them grow slower.
19. Bears can bend over and lick their own genitals.
20. Kids ages 8 and below find swallowing chewing gum and eating their booger normal.
21. Bismuth briefly turns into gold once it's at zero degrees centigrade.
22. Attaching a magnet to your mobile phone will charge a call only a minute whatever the duration may be.
23. Our moon used to be Jupiter's moon.
24. A whale's fart can kill a person swimming on the water surface.
25. The chemical composition of each person's sweat is unique.
26. Lindsay Lohan has a pierced G-spot.
27. A rattlesnake's venom can reverse baldness.
28. Cellular aging halts at zero gravity.
29. All computer systems are hackable.
30. The most googled keyword is "porn".
31. Necrophelics who fuck frozen corpses are less likely to acquire sexually transmitted diseases or infections.
32. Next to sex, the most beneficial and pleasurable thing in the world is laughter.
33. Only numbers 1, 12, and 30 are true. Everything else I made them all up. How much of everything you read do you believe in?

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