A Dream

They grew up together
amidst war and rubble.

She remembers
how little they were
and how they
held their fingers together

as their parents
walked along the streets
and had nowhere to go.

How he hated her so much
afters years
of life and laughter

for she married
another man.

// 21 May 2019

My Mothers

My actual mother:
My mother learns to give
not because she has a lot
but because she knows
what it's like to have nothing.

My spiritual mother:
My mother gives and gives
because there is no limit
to the treasures of the spirit;
We have everything and more.

I love them both for their big, generous hearts.
They operate in different worlds but both are true.
On the side note, I wish I knew my father. XD

// 19 May 2019

Blue, Blew, Bloo

The Blue Ones again. :3

They taught me three meditation practices today.

I feel so crazy good right now.

And I'm laughing so hard cos my yoga teacher in Cambodia taught me the wrong process. XD I send him my love anyway.

Today, the Blue Ones healed my womb.

And wow, I can't believe it. I could've died. It was the same feeling I felt when I killed myself so long ago. And I repressed it.

My teacher, he said you can't do this without somebody. The belly is like a bomb. A bomb of repressed emotions as old as our ancestors.

...and I thought I was healed in there already. XD

I just want to say THANK YOU. To the Blue Ones out there, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

All I'm learning is just blowing my mind.

I don't know if I am on drugs, but now I am in bliss. I can't even kill a fly. Time is so slow it's like an eternity.

What is this space?? I can feel the fire in my belly.

And I feel so good with my heart. But my head is still all effed up. I can't stay in there anymore.

So this is what the yogis in the mountains are talking about, after all.

I experienced this inner fire in Sagada before. I practiced a meditation technique just to warm my body and ended with the same result.

But this... It's so incredible. The chocolate for the soul. It feels sooo good I can live like this forever.

The difference between my old practice and this? This one doesn't need any practice. XD It takes only one breath to shift. And you're there until... until you change your mind.

Everything you need is in one breath.

And I am part of the shift. So many people are shifting at this moment.

Thank you, Blue Ones. You guys are amaaazing!

// UPDATE: I either am fucked up or was visited by aliens. Either way what I experienced can't be paralleled by any other encounter I've had before.

// 02 May 2019

Feeling Blue, in an Oceanic Way

So it's been a year since I last posted anything. Sarreh. XD

I've been living in El Nido for the past six months, with a little side trip to three Asian countries with my fam last December.

El Nido, Palawan. My little paradise.

I'm so BUSY. D: I wish I have time to digest stuff and make some art, but I'm gonna try. I'll revise some old pieces and post them on Instagram.

I think I'm on to something EXCITING which I will spill later.

In the meantime, I can stay here to just vent and think out loud.

The past six months, I've been:

I like exploring places but I hate the dizzying pukey experience on the road. Egh.

I need me some zen time. Really. Get the stress out and tune in to the world of peace, bubbles, and rainbows. :3 I owe yoga my daily practice. I feel terrible, out of shape, and unbalanced right now.

The Water Girls

A girl named Ivy was introduced to me last year back in Manila. She was having an awakening experience and needed somebody to guide her.

For some bizarre reason, we just found each other living together here in El Nido for several weeks. You know, as total strangers.

She tagged along with me while travel writing. I introduced her to some of my favorite people and even brought her to this amazing private island where I stayed for the first one or two months in Palawan.

I guess she was a kind of soul mate. We shared so many hypersensitivities together and felt the same wherever we were.

Water girls.

Both our sun and moon are on a water sign. I didn't believe the stuff before, but maybe they have some grain of truth.

We both were sponges. Sponges of the undercurrents of our environment. As if we have no borders at all.

And we'd have to get away and recharge regularly like our lives depended on it.

What's funny? She committed suicide in around 2010 by jumping off an 11-storey building.

Of course, suicide isn't funny. But we shared the same backstory.

Miraculously, she landed in a swimming pool, which was far from where she jumped. She drowned but was alive. Pool water had to be pumped out of her lungs.


Amazing, strong girl, oh another lost soul.

I healed her with my hands and she released so much trauma from her belly, like I did with mine. I have healed five people so far. XD

It was just one session, she cried so much and thanked me. She said she prayed all these transformations to happen and that I was her answer.

NAW SHUCKS. I blushed right there. I'm always happy to save somebody.

We taught each other some meditation tricks, camped on beaches, talked to the stars, braved the highways with hitchhiking, cooked a lot!, and even went fasting together for five days.

It was supposed to be seven, but we just missed food so badly by the fifth day that all we wanted to do was stuff our faces. Lol.

It's always incredible (and unforgettable) to find a kindred spirit. She was the kind of person I could be quiet with and she would still understand.

Eating Demons for Breakfast

Without yoga, my mind is just all over the place. The past month, though there was nothing much going on externally, my internal world was going through one hell of a demon-busting spree.

Was it the full moon?

I stayed by the beach in Sabang where I thought I'd witness the pink moon.

Well. It wasn't pink. For all that I anticipated. It was the same normal white and orby moon that clung by the coconut trees and lit the beach with a delicious pale glow.

I guess that was enough to trigger so many stuff to come out of my psyche. A kind of purging. Exorcism if you will.

I saw my old, starving demons. And they were desperate to get the same intense soul-sucking emotions they used to get from me.

They drained me a little, the leeches, but I am a lot stronger than them now. (Well, with the help of some blue beings.)

Those events just rubbed the fog out of my third eye. I guess that was my pink eye in the pink moon. ;)

Creepy as hell, the fear-feeding parasites, but these things don't bother me anymore.

I could eat demons for breakfast just like Kali. XD

And above all, I learned to forgive. :3 Especially my high school best friend, who was the source of all this hellride.

Sarinah, I owe her my light. As Buddha did with Mara, and Jesus with Judas.

The highway angels are with me. Yup, true story.

The Blue People

Now this is thrilling.

By now I feel like my ego is fading, which is nice. I keep clinging to these walls but I just get calm-headed and a little bit bored from so much breathwork and peaceful thoughts.

A lot of the weightlifting process involves breaking down my own patterns of language, hence my beliefs, hence my life, and everything beyond. Meditation is pretty much like a road construction in the wild jungles of my mind.

It will take a while to get the bliss back with yowgah.

I guess I have to work on that. I'll probably try to build new walls, which is what the Instagram is for. A search for the deathless soul residing in this dense body on this dense planet.

In my dreams I have had glimpses of other planets, beings, and so many stars. But just last week, these dreams have turned into lucid realities that went on for hours.

I had to shut them down for a while because I was stressed out with all these internal and external ever-changing environments.

YOGA, come on, let's get back into the zen zone please. XD Stress is so alien to me now.

In one lucid dream I visited three planets and met some multi-dimensional beings, both benevolent and malevolent.

(I guess this was what drained me. I have to clear so much junk to go astral safely.)

There was this one planet that I kept seeing and it was with these blue people.

In the first dream I've had with them, we were swimming in some kind of deep glowy ocean and we communicated through telepathy. This was the coolest experience. :)

But by the time my ego kicked in, I realized I didn't have an oxygen tank, and then I did what was predictable.

I drowned. I guess to them, this was just stupid. Haha.

I woke up, gasping for air.

The guy who guided me in there, he was big, blue-skinned, and muscular. He felt like he was an authority figure, with a solid, noble presence. Prince of the ocean, maybe. Poseidon, is that you? Haha.

In the second dream, this same guy taught me to go through wormholes, blackholes, and whiteholes. The universe is one intergalactic highway, with many citizens and bandits, just like in cities.

This astral thing though happens on different layers or dimensions. And for me, I could only pass through places where my vibe (soul/self/spirit) was allowed to adapt.

I can't get anywhere with an ego and all these fear-based belief systems from planet Earth.

I have to undo all this stuff to soar outside, beyond my lovely moon.

Anyway, what with all these experiences, I started applying them here in real life... and crazy as it sounds, I can now predict strangers' personalities just by feeling them.

Boom. Behind me at the HQ in Palawan sat a friend. Once when he was in the office, I felt him (without me even seeing him) before he called my name. Does he like me? Cos it felt close to love. :3

Or he was probably reflecting my vibe to connect with me on that level. I don't know. But I felt him for some time before I heard him.

At the hostel where I stayed, I'd feel out these new travelers coming in and all my hunches, when I talk to them later, were 100% correct.

I guess this makes me clairsentient. :P I've been sensing this the past two years, even when I was living with my ex many years ago, but I didn't know it can get this accurate.

Well, this morning I woke up at dawn, and I left my physical body to say good bye to the blue guy. I guess we were together again, meeting astral.

Who was he?

I want to remember more of my dreams. But maybe soon I will decide to remember. For now, I need some rest and space.

I like this word, space.

// 30 Apr 2019


My creative team on Romblon Island. Photo by Martin Villas.

We fly, we cruise, we sail, we ride motorcycles, we cross rivers, we sleep in buses, we explore ruins, we wander in old mansions, we ask, we understand, we dive deeper, we swim in turquoise waters, we dip in blue lagoons, we discover life, we make new friends, we hop among islands, we clamber over rocks, we enter deep jungles, we immerse among tribes, we learn our old ways, we sleep in strange places, we try exotic food, we climb mountains, we chase the radiant sun, our hearts quiver, we fall in love--again, and again, and again.

// 02 May 2018